The Comfort of Siblings

And no need to impress

Growing up in my family was…unusual. Now, when we were young, our life was quite normal to my siblings and me. As we grew older, we started to realize most children do not travel the country, stopping for Dad to preach revivals along the way. It also dawned on us that not all families spend the entire summer going from one gathering of churches to another.

Thanks to this traveling-preacher lifestyle, we spent a lot of time living together in small spaces. One week, it was a hotel room. Yes, all five of us in one room. Someone either got a roll away bed or a blanket on the floor. At the next place, us kids might bunk in the spare room of a host pastor’s home. Summer found us in a family cabin at various Christian campgrounds around the country.

During our middle school years, our parents purchased a twenty-four-foot travel trailer. This became our home on the road. Our family of five (three of us teenagers) lived, ate, slept, and had school in that home-on-wheels. When it wasn’t raining non-stop for days, we did okay. Today, I wonder how Mom survived.

For over thirty years, both my brothers have lived an eight-hour drive away. We do not see each other often, but we are still close. On holidays or other special occasions, within ten minutes of being in the same room, we tend to take on the same roles as when we were kids. The firstborn (me) loves order and quiet. I like to emphasize the details and keep to the program. They have been known to say I’m a bit high-strung. To that, I say, “Whatever!” Someone must keep things moving along, right?

Even though we were a ministry family, we were typical siblings. We had fun exploring wherever we stayed. We argued, played games, and got into each other’s space (what little of it we had). Frequently, we got to stop at the beach or an amusement park in route to the next meeting. Like most kids back then, we were disciplined quite regularly.

This was our life, and all that togetherness in small spaces made us a tight-knit family.

One brother is the middle child; a gentle soul with a tremendous amount of patience. He is slow to speak, but when he speaks, people listen. He never gets in a hurry, takes on more than he can accomplish, and rarely finishes home projects. Still, he is an expert communicator and anointed preacher.

Our baby brother is the talker, problem-fixer, and incredibly smart. He has been this way from birth and not much has changed. He can still talk the bark off a tree (as Dad would say) and loves to give his big sister a hard time. He is always ready and willing to help family, friends, or neighbors. All of this while building a successful business.

Today, despite their giftedness and success, I continue to think of them as my little brothers. When we’re together, I have no need to worry about how they see me. It would be futile, anyway, for they know me as well as I know myself. They have seen me at my best, and when I’ve failed miserably. Furthermore, they would stand up to anyone who tried to hurt me. I, as well, would defend them to the end.

This is the comfort of family—loving each other, regardless.

It does not mean we always agree. We have differing opinions on many things, from how to discipline children to what kind of car we should buy and just about everything in between. We serve together on the governing board of a family-run, nonprofit organization and do not always agree on the decisions to be made there, either.

What we do agree on is to not allow difficulties or disagreements to taint our family relationship—but to find comfort, instead, in the lack of a need to impress. We agree to appreciate our unique gifts and personalities, and to encourage one another to pursue God’s plan for our lives.

We are determined to share, support, and love unconditionally.

This attitude comes from perhaps having what we now know was quite an abnormal childhood—one I don’t think we would trade for anything.

---

The post “The Comfort of Siblings and No Need to Impress” first appeared in More Than A Church Girl: 100 Stories of Life, Faith, Family.