The Fast 5 (#010) 💙
denial + she who has ears + links
Hello, friends!
This story is somewhat hard for me to share because it makes me feel, well, old. But the truth is (and as my BFF likes to say), “I am old!”
Most of the time, I don’t really think of myself that way—as being old. It’s a strange thing that one can sometimes feel like the young person they used to be. Other days, though, I definitely feel my actual age.
Aching back. Cracking knees. Failing eyesight. Forgotten details I should know. All the above and more. Can I get an amen? I forgot to add to the list my failing ability to hear, and that is where this short story begins and ends.
Yes, I am now the not-so-proud owner of a pair of hearing aids. If you happen to see me out and about, do not ask me to see them. Now, I may mention it, or tap them lightly in your presence to call attention to the fact that I’m wearing them. However it goes, let it be my story to tell, okay?
I’d been in denial for years. I knew my hearing was not what it used to be. In fact, my primary care doc informed me of the fact maybe 8–10 years ago. I didn’t want it to be so.
As my hearing woes progressed, I began to notice when out to dinner, my husband would have to prompt me to give my drink order (I’d have no idea the server was speaking to me). In conversation, I would see a look on the other person’s face that indicated my response to their question had nothing to do with what they’d just asked me.
What pushed me beyond the denial, though, was when I started having trouble hearing what my grandsons were telling me. After a few such moments of having to ask them to repeat themselves several times, I knew I needed to consider help.
So, I sent a text to my good friend from college days. Her husband wears hearing aids, and we had recently commiserated together over the fact we were both losing our hearing. The text I sent to my friend went something like this.
“Girl, can you ask Paul to send me the information again for the hearing aid company he uses? He gave it to me and I put it in my phone. Now, I can’t find the note. I may have deleted it. Maybe I was in denial.”
She sent me a laughing emoji, and said, “Of course, friend. It’s hard to get old.” I wanted to respond, “Excuse me. I am not old!” But, I mean, here we are.
After an adjustment period (and boy is there one), I got brave enough to wear my new hearing aids while driving the car. As I backed out of the garage, the car started playing the playlist from my phone. I set off on my errand with worship music playing and me singing along.
Suddenly, I got emotional and thought I might need to pull over. It hit me that I could hear! I was singing. And I could hear the parts. I could hear the beat of the drums. The lyrics were easy to understand. But mostly, it was that I could hear myself.
[She] who has ears, let [her] hear. Matthew 13.43b
If you are a singer, you may feel this more than some. If you don’t consider yourself musical, just imagine losing something very dear and suddenly realizing you have found it again. That’s how I felt that day.
I’ve been singing my whole life—singing with my family as part of my parents’ evangelistic ministry, choir in high school and college, church choir as an adult. All of this led to being on the praise & worship team, and eventually becoming a worship pastor.
Today, I mostly sing for myself, singing along to my favorite worship music. To be able to hear myself “sit in” with the band (while driving down the road)—well, for just a minute, I think I felt a little less “old”. So, thank you to my new hearing aids for that. Maybe I should have left my denial behind sooner.
And now, here are a few of my favorite things…
The Fast 5 🕔
Everything, All the Time — My goodness, this could almost be my essay! Tresta writes, “If you are a new reader (Hey! Hi! I’m glad you’re here.) you may think you’ve subscribed to a dead Substack…” Yes, it’s apparent that both she and I (yes, me) “dip out” at least once a year or so from regular and consistent writing. I appreciate her honestly sharing that she has simply been life-ing (me, too) and sometimes a writer must give their time and attention to other things. Read Tresta’s story!
INSPIRING BLOG POST — ✍🏼 Are You Ready to Vote in the Upcoming Election? This is a great non-partisan encouragement to vote by doing your homework, and being prepared. (I can totally relate to the author’s story of walking into the voting booth unprepared). Love the comparisons between 2024 and the book of Ezekiel’s “alarming days”. And I think I’ll take this quote into the voting booth with me: “Augustine likened Christians to ‘pilgrims traveling through the earthly city on their way to a better country.’”
FAVORITE BOOK — 📖 It Wasn’t Roaring, It Was Weeping by Lisa-Jo Baker — If you like reading the occasional memoir, enjoy reading in general, or need a good storyline to take you back in time—read this book by Lisa-Jo Baker. If none of those reasons fit, read it anyway. “With a story that stretches from South Africa’s outback to Washington, D.C., It Wasn’t Roaring, It Was Weeping is a courageous look at inherited hurts and prejudices, and a hope-filled example for all who feel lost in life or worried that they’re too off course to make the necessary corrections.”
FAV RECIPE — 🍲 Since our son-in-law is a cattle rancher, our freezer is usually stocked with plenty of ground beef. This recipe for Burger In A Bowl (No Bun) has been on repeat for me over the summer. I like mine to taste like a Big Mac In A Bowl (yes, it’s a thing), so I don’t add bacon or mushrooms. Husband eats his seasoned ground beef on soft tortillas, taco style. This quick and versatile dinner is always a win around here!
MUSIC I LOVE — ♭ ♯ If the Lord (Live) - Bethel Music, Zahriya Zachary — This has been on repeat the past week or so, and I wanted to share it with you. As the lyrics say, “If the Lord has brought you through the fire…and if the Lord delivered you from darkness…” then this will encourage you to lift a praise to Him!
Currently Reading 📚
Perfectly Suited: The Armor of God for the Anxious Mind—by J.D. Peabody. Many of us grew up, or have come up, in an era of being told there is no excuse for a Christian to be anxious, fearful, or on the verge of a meltdown. But then life happens, and we are human, and we find ourselves there. This book was written by a pastor who found himself there, as well. He has written about it, and how to walk on through it by reaching “for the armor of God.” I needed this book, and maybe you do, too.
Quotable 💭
“Be my good shepherd to lead me into the green pastures of thy word, and cause me to lie down beside the rivers of its comforts.
Fill me with peace, that no disquieting worldly gales may ruffle the calm surface of my soul.”
—The Valley of Vision: a collection of Puritan prayers & devotions
Quick Links 🔗
Come Septemoir with Me Sarah E. Westfall has prepared an amazing list of her favorite Memoirs read over the years. She’s also hosting a virtual gathering on October 3rd to celebrate what she calls Septemoir (the reading of only memoirs in September). If this sounds like your thing, go for it! You’ll find me enjoying the coming fall weather and reading a memoir off her list. (Speaking of the list, I just finished reading ‘It Wasn’t Roaring, It Was Weeping’ and I share about it in the Fast 5 list above.)
How do you follow Jesus? Brandon Moore asks, “Does it feel like following Jesus is like walking through a field of landmines? […] Or, do you carry a sense of light-heartedness with the Lord?” The author admits he’s experienced both, as have I. Read and enjoy the encouragement found in this devotional piece.
When the End Gathers Its Things and Visits Someone We Love Shawn Smucker’s telling of the recent passing of his father-in-law amidst all the chaos of life demonstrates beauty among ashes. He mentions all the things swirling about in their household of teenagers, work obligations, athletic practices and games to be at, a daughter learning to drive, and the commitment to run a food stand at the state fair. All this while his wife must travel to be with her dying father. It is life and death and duty and sorrow all rolled into one. You will enjoy Shawn’s moving story.
Talk soon,